Living in Shadows

⇢ Living in Shadows ⇠

Genres: Tragedy, One-Shot
Rated K+

Summary:
Akihiro and Haruka are best friends, and use to go out. But when another girl gets in the way, the two break up. At some point, Haruka decided to visit Akihiro's house. What she didn't know was that Akihiro is going out with the same girl that ruined Haruka's life to begin with.

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"A real girl isn't perfect, and a perfect girl isn't real."

"Why do people always desire the things they cannot have?"

A door stands in front of me, waiting to be knocked. The anxiety that roams in my stomach curls in circles as I reach my hand out to knock. In my other hand, there's a bag.

'Knock-knock'

I did it. The first step had finished. Proceeding off to the second step, he opens the door. There he stood in his casual clothing. It seemed as though he'd just woken up. He rubbed his eyes and yawned out a greeting. I nodded my head but apologized at the same time.

"Sorry; is this a bad time?" I startled.

"Huh? Oh, no. It isn't. I just got up anyway." He shook his head before letting me in. He stared at the bag in one of my hands. "What's that?"

"Oh this..?" I raised the bag up. "It's dumplings. I figured you'd want some." I handed him the bag. Dumplings are his favourite. I would know because he's my best friend… and also my former ex. We broke up though. I don't exactly know how it happened, but we're still friends. Just not as close to each other.

I walked in and took a seat on the couch he directed me to. At the kitchen, he slowly took his time opening the packages where the dumplings were in. I sat on the chair, looking around the living room. Nothing has changed since the last time I've been to his house. I hadn't visited him in awhile and thought I'd drop by. I remembered he had two fishes. There was a female fish and a male one. He named one of them after me. – Haruka was the name. He named the other one after himself. – Akihiro. He'd always look after the fishes. It was like his prized possession.

A white Persian cat stumbled in through the doorway and into the living room that I was in.

"Hey Akihiro; I didn't know you have a cat." I awed the cat as it jumped on the furniture to get to the fish tank. With its body stretched out, and its paws waiting to prey on the fish, I realised something. The cat wasn't aggressive on the fish, but watched as it swam in front of it.

"That fluffy white one..?" He shouted from the kitchen.

"Yeah," I shouted back to him in my normal tone. "What's her name?" I questioned as I turned my head to the kitchen counter. I figured it was a female cat because of her rather large pink ribbon tied on her neck.

"Her name's Sylvia."

I'd heard a voice coming from the doorway that the cat had came through. I turned to face the owner of the feminine voice, only to find out it was another girl. She was dressed in her pyjamas. I figured she was sleeping with Akihiro on the same bed. There were only two rooms in the house. – One of them is an office, and the other is his room. Not once have I ever slept with him on the same bed when I went out with him.

"Oh…" I said quietly. "That's a nice name for her. She's really cute." I smiled hiding away the fact that there was another girl other than me in the house.

"Of course it is. He named it after me." She raised her eyebrow at me and folded her arms at the same time.

Awkwardness filled the room.

"There's only one fish in the tank. Where's the other one?" I asked, trying to make a conversation with her.

"It's dead." Her feminine voice changed to a blunt monotone. "Haruka's dead." Sylvia mouthed her words at me. My eyes widened. Footsteps staggered in with a voice behind me.

"Sylvia? What're you doing out in bed?" Akihiro asked with a plate of dumplings in his hand. I turned to face him as he gently walked his way to the coffee table.

"What does it look like? I woke up." She giggled delightfully, changing her expression in front of him.
She walked over to Akihiro and gave a kiss on his cheek. "Silly Aki; you didn't tell me there was going to be a guest. I would've cleaned up a bit more." She said rather sweetly to grab his attention. I knew she was only doing that on purpose. She always has. I don't know why, but she had always hated my guts since the first time we've met. After all those times, I didn't know her name, but she knew mine.

My heart thumped. The throbbing wouldn't stop. I was startled at that moment. The thought of Sylvia giving my best friend a nickname made me envious of how close they were. Not once did he let me nickname him.

"Ah, I didn't know she'd drop by. She came on her own." He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close for another smooching session. She giggled as she pulled away.

Everything was so awkward for me; I didn't know what to do. I figured the timing was wrong. I got up, getting ready to leave. I spoke, "Sorry; I really shouldn't have come. I feel like I'm intruding. I'm terribly sorry." I apologized sincerely. I gave a bow and steadily lead myself off to the door. From that short bow, I quickly saw the look on Sylvia's face. – She was smirking at me as if she was mocking the mistake I'd made.

The way he held her in his arms made me jealous. Even the way he'd become all lovey-dovey with her in front of me like it was normal. He'd never once do all that to me. Tears had formed in my eyes, but my back was to them. I wiped the tears away before they slid down my cheek. I sniffed quietly trying not to grab attention to myself. But, since I was the one leaving, it's impossible not to.

"Haruka, wait…" He blurted out of nowhere. He'd unwrapped her and grabbed hold of my wrist. The way he did that made me want him more. I laughed.

"How selfish of me…" I knew if I turned around, he'd see me crying. My head was down and tears slid out. Tears like crystal dripped on the wooden ground. "I figured that when we're best friends, I could trust you with anything. I thought that I meant everything to you. But I know now that I'll never be good enough for you." I pulled my wrist away and left through the door. I shut the door behind me and slowly slid my back down. I brought my knees to my face and covered my head to hide my selfish feelings.

I don't normally blame it on anyone, but there was one person who broke us up. – It's the same person that's going out with Akihiro. He doesn't know about the incident though. But I wish he knew...

On the other side of the door, I hear her calling him.

"Aki! Let's go back to bed!" She yawned sweetly while rubbing her eyes.

"In a minute, Sylvia. I'll see you in the room later."

"Okay! Don't make me wait, alright?" She skipped her way in. Her actions are somewhat, predictable sometimes. Aki, as she calls him, smiles at her over his shoulder. She pranced to his room. Akihiro looked down on the ground. Tear drops from his best friend were on the ground.

"Haru…"

I let out a sigh. How stupid was I thinking he still had feelings for me. I thought that if I came to his house, we'd make up and be closer than ever. It all backfired.

"I trusted you…" I mumbled to myself. "But you didn't believe me…" The throbbing in my heart worsened every step of the way. The pain that struck like an arrow piercing through made me feel ridiculously stupid. "When we broke up, you said we'd still be best friends, like old times. But I don't want to be just friends! I want to be more than that…" I babbled to myself while more warm liquids dripped down my cheeks. "I'm so egotistic, aren't I…?" I smiled at myself while inhaling my breath in. "Never once did you treat me differently. To you, I'm like a sister, aren't I?"

It's like Sylvia had planned it all.

The devious cat has the innocence to raise attention from the fish that cannot walk, but swims instead. For the fish to fall in love with another fish in the same tank, we had a better chance of being together. But the forbidden love had broken in, and stole my life away. Just like Haruka, the fish who once loved Akihiro, has died and no longer existed. The cat that cannot swim but walks and the fish that cannot walk but swims instead. Their undying love has become impossible. Just when will he realise that the love between a fish and a cat cannot be?

For Haruka, the fish is now in eternal sleep, he, who will one day realise, cannot take back what has been done.

"I wanted wings…

Wings that I could never have.

I'd like to be a butterfly.

But that's a secret…"